For non-profits, June 30th is like New Years Eve. The anticipation for a change of hands and impending progression is monumental. This is how I entered my final month as vice president of the MOMS Club of *my city. After serving two years in that capacity, I was elected to be president. I spent weeks jotting down ideas, speaking to incoming/outgoing board members, planning, being excited about the year to come. Then last week, our board of directors abruptly voted to disband the club and resign from our positions. Overnight, it was gone.

What changed so quickly? We received an email with a story so uprooting it took mere days for a group of women, who have dedicated years to this club, to unanimously walk away. You see, one of the post COVID activities for MOMS Club chapters has been to create picture collages with uplifting messages and International MOMS Club (IMC) shares them on their Facebook page to all 20k + members. However, when the Rancho Santa Margarita, CA (RSM) chapter asked that their picture stating “We stand with all moms and pledge that racial descriminiation will stop with our kids.”, they were denied. When questioned, IMC claimed that making a “political statement” will jeopardize their non-profit status. 

As a result, the RSM board resigned, in its wake it appears dozens of clubs have disbanded and thousands of moms across the country have left the organization. Letters have been written, phone calls have been made, social media posts shared. Yet IMC wouldn’t engage in a conversation. They did however post a blanket quote on their website stating, “For almost 40 years – since our beginning – the MOMS Club has been on the right side of history by being inclusive of all at-home mothers regardless of race, religion, sexuality and economic status. We would not have it any other way”. After including it in an email addressed to membership, they concluded with, “this email will be the last we will send concerning this”. 

There may be some explanation to this. Found in “The MOMS Club, Politics and Non Our Non Profit Status” fact sheet are statements supporting their decision. It says, “by presenting statements ‘against’ racism, it can imply that you were racist before.” This statement left me bewildered because it’s like saying that either everyone who stands for something is reformed or that changing as an organization isn’t for them. Either of which, I can’t support.  

Why am I sharing this? There’s a few reasons; I don’t agree with what they’ve done, I don’t believe that it should be accepted by our society, and we have an opportunity to break the cycle of racism. I will do what International MOMS Club wouldn’t, I will stand up against racial discrimination. 

Whether IMC recognizes it or not, their actions exhibit passive non-racism. While they may not be influenced by a person’s race, they aren’t motivated to act against a discriminatory act either. My opinion is that their hiding behind a misinterpreted IRS guideline to avoid self reflection as a group, in whole. And it’s disappointing to say the least. 

This is where we can make the necessary changes to end systematic racism. The first step is to understand what racism, privilege, microaggressions and the modern day issues are. After educating yourself, take a personal inventory and discover where you fit in the process. Are you actively taking steps to be anti-racist? Or are you avoiding uncomfortable discussions about race? When you find your place, take the next step. Have the conversations,  immerse yourself in anti-racist media (books, movies, podcasts, etc.), support organizations for people of color, teach your children inclusion. Take the time, make the effort, be the change. 

To the other mothers: Our board has zero tolerance for discrimination and believe the 37 other mothers we represent does as well. However, we understand that this group is important to us all. For many it’s more than a club, it’s their community. For my family, it’s been a support system through a series of life events and a happy place. To lose that important connection would be devastating.

This incident made us look closer at IMC’s guidelines and standards. They had some archaic notions, like choosing to support stay at-home moms specifically. And preferred operations run differently than our club was inclined, such as hosting monthly family day activities on the weekend. Ultimately, we didn’t feel like it was reflective of our club. Our beautifully diverse, supportive, all encompassing club. 

Still this is all bittersweet, certainly not the way I expected to start ‘the new year’ (much like all of 2020). However, taking the stand here offers a sweet reward… a blank slate. A chance for us to create a group that is for us. Designed by all of us, supportive of all of us, loved by all of us.